Divorce can create a great deal of instability for children, so it is often recommended that parents keep certain other people in the children’s lives where possible. For instance, it can help to allow the child to stay at the same school so they can continue with their friend group and teachers they already know. Or, ensuring that time is made for them to continue seeing aunts, uncles and cousins.
If your child has a nanny, they may fall into that category of very important people for your child. This is why some divorcing parents consider having that nanny travel with the children when they move between homes.
You’ll need to set some clear rules to help this work. Here are a few.
1. Do not use them as your private spy
The nanny will see a lot of what goes on in your personal lives, just as they did while you were married and living together. It can be tempting to try and get snippets of information out of them about the other parent and things that happen while the kids are with them. Avoid this, as it puts them in a very difficult position.
2. Decide how you will split the cost
You need to be clear from the start about who pays for the nanny’s time, their travel and any other costs that you may have just paid from the joint bank account previously.
3. Be sure the nanny is comfortable with the arrangement
The nanny might find the prospect of moving between homes too complicated, especially if one or both of you get new partners who might do things in a different way. Check in regularly to make sure the situation is still comfortable for your nanny
Retaining the same nanny can be a great help for your children in the right circumstances. However, as with any other matter related to the children, it’s important to consider everything carefully and get legal guidance on how to document matters.