Handovers are an essential part of time-sharing arrangements, but they can often be challenging. Two parents who have divorced may hardly come into physical contact with each other except when they exchange their child, so it is easy for problems between them to spill out in these moments.
If handovers are becoming a problem, there are things you can do to try and improve them. Here are some examples.
Conduct them in a safe public space
Perhaps your ex raises their voice at you or even threatens to become violent. In both cases, arranging to meet in a public place where there are plenty of other people around may shame them into refraining from such behavior.
Examples could include the entrance to a local supermarket or the reception area of their workplace, if permitted. Many police stations also have safe exchange zones that are monitored around the clock and are well lit.
Take a friend or relative
There is sometimes safety in numbers. An ex who wants to start an argument or even one who tries to persuade you to get back together is less likely to do so if you are there with someone else – such as a parent, sibling or best friend. You just don’t want to bring someone who could make the situation even more fraught.
Have someone do the exchanges for you
Sometimes it is better to have a third party stand in for one of you. For example, your parents could take your child to the exchange instead of you. This can be helpful if you and your ex end up arguing each time, or if they use the opportunity to manipulate you or abuse you.
In some cases, it is possible to have a court require someone to supervise the handovers. An ex is more likely to behave themselves if they know a court is aware that the handovers have been problematic.
Seek a modification
Finally, it is important to remember that if your ex is continually making handovers or co-parenting in general difficult, you might need to consider returning to court and asking it to modify the original agreement because the present one is proving unworkable. Learning more about your options is wise in all cases for your own benefit and that of your children.